on photography, public speaking and performance anxiety.....

Some months ago I thought it would be a good idea to volunteer to speak at a Landscape photography conference.

On Landscape Meeting of Minds Conference had slots in the lunch break for short ' Lightning talks'.

I wanted to push myself, as that's the only way I can force myself out of my my comfort zone. It doesn't do to get too comfortable.

I had an idea that it would make me create something really clever that I could share with the delegates; a small folding book perhaps, on a single sheet of paper.

To share my love of books.

The possibilities seemd endless.

And then this week I saw the conference line up on social media.

My name was there.

I stopped in my tracks, and an overwhelming feeling of terror came over me.

The main speakers are all incredibly well known photographers. Respected individuals.

And then there is me. Someone who isn't really interested in regular landscapes.

Who is just as keen to make images with her phone as she is with fancy kit.

Who doesn't use a tripod, or a darkroom.

Who gets very nervous when put in front of a group of people especially when technology is involved.......

I saw my name, and for several days I couldn't sleep properly.

I wondered what I had been thinking all those months back.

What would they think if they knew I was more interested right now in making a childrens' book about a mountain?


I turned to Youtube for some advice on performance anxiety, and public speaking tips.

I found it surprisingly helpful.

I now have a plan...

I will go on stage  sucking on a straw, and counting my breathing very carefully.....

Then I will sing a song with my guitar about how nervous I am; Joe Kowan is really funny on the subject of stage fright;

If time allows after that I will come up with a brilliant idea to share, as advised for speakers at TED talks.

I wonder what that could be?

The world needs fewer cones, perhaps?

Spend less time on Instagram?

Only buy coffee if it is in a real cup?

Carry less camera kit?

a photographer on a hike

coffee tastes best in real cups

But first I need some props.

Something to shock my audience or wake them up.

I considered using an alarm clock, a balloon to burst or a really large zoom lens that is too heavy to carry.

I need a 'hook'.....

But I don't want to tell people how to behave. Nor to get on a high horse.

I want to inspire, not lecture.

So I really need to get my thinking cap on, and come up with something that no one else can tell them.

Something about me perhaps.

That shouldn't be so hard.


I'll let you know how it goes.

On reaching a new milestone thanks to On Landscape magazine

Forest of Dreams © Caroline Fraser

What can I say.

I feel truly honoured to have been invited to be interviewed by

On Landscape Magazine

I have finally reached the point where I feel comfortable to own up to my other life, as a doctor, and no longer feel I have to keep that quiet in relation to my photography.

I was asked to make this print ( above) as a result of the article.

It is from the forest on Deeside, near Balmoral.

It looks so much better when printed on the right side of the paper ( it took me a whole day to work out what I had done wrong.....), and is now on its way to Australia.

Now on with the many forms that need completing in order to get back to New Zealand. The flights are booked.

And there is also the small matter of eldest child's wedding in 19 days time.....

So much to look forward to.


I should probably go and do some shopping .....

only one carrot left...

all tied up ; untold stories from a walk in the woods

Nothing like a birthday to get one thinking of bows and gift wrapping. Walking around Hawkwood last week I carried only my iphone, as dog was ill, and I knew that if I took a real camera I would be out walking for longer than would be good for her.

When I came home I was somewhat surprised by the collection of images that I had made of bits of string.

What fascinates me more and more is why we choose to take pictures of certain things. Most of the time I cannot explain what prompts me to click the shutter. Walking past the barn I was drawn to some blue string; probably prompted by the image of an empty barn that I created the week before and influenced by Zarina Bhimji's  work.


 Zarina's website


 I think of these images as 'fragments' , 'remains' or 'traces' of earlier, unseen human activity.

There is something attractive about knots and trails of coloured fibres. I can't say that I was conscious of any deeper meaning when I made the images, but what about the subconscious?

What would the viewer make of these?

How will they be interpreted?

 Of course knots are symbolic of life and relationships, but could also have other connotations depending on the individual viewer's perspective on life.

This one puzzles me the most; a bow of hazard warning tape tied high up in a holly tree, way out of reach. There must be a story behind this one, just as there must be for the pillow that still lies in the undergrowth, now covered in snow, and shown in an earlier post when first discovered.

This pillow has become a source of fascination; I find myself looking forward to passing the place where it lies, wondering if it will still be there, and how it will look. I have photographed it with a  variety of cameras from Rolleiflex to Holga, and await the prints to see what will work best.

There is a story to be told, and I feel task before me is to tell it. But what the truth is, no one will ever know.


David Ward , landscape photogpraher talks about photographic meaning in the latest edition of On Landscape magazine. He talks about meaning with reference to landscape photography. He might argue that these images are not landscapes, but for me they are as much a landscape as the traditional mountain or countryside scene. 


The difference is that rather than just being an expression of how the landscape makes me feel, which is how I would wish people to view my more traditional landscape work, these may be trying to say something more. 


Time will tell..........