'you don't often get out for nowt' ……… the Duchess of Devonshire says 'goodbye'

I am up north………Derbyshire……….for a funeral.

The funeral is tomorrow, and I arrived a day early, so I put cameras in the car and made a journey to Chatsworth House, as I have fond memories of the fountains and countryside from a trip with my children 20 years ago.

I wanted to relive the views and take a walk after all that driving.

I packed my rucksack and set off across the fields, along the river.

I stopped to take a picture of the house in the distance.

The camera was dead.

Flat battery.

I walked back up to the car and changed cameras to a small one.

Back down the hill.

I stopped to take a picture again.

The camera was dead.

Flat battery.

I had driven for an hour to make photos, with two dead cameras. I was not impressed with myself.



Far across the fields were many cars and people wearing black.

I had gate crashed the wake for the Duchess of Devonshire. Quite unintentionally. The police man at the car park said'  a couple came here all the way from Australia  If only they had checked the website, as the house is closed today'.

I had not checked the website either. I had also come quite a long way. With two completely useless cameras.

I needed a walk, and I wandered on down he hill to see some action. I was wearing jeans and a vivid orange T-shirt. Not really appropriate attire for a funeral.

As I wandered towards the house, an elderly man stopped to let me know that he had been to the wake and had tea and cake. 'You don't often get out for nowt' said he. I didn't think I was likely to get anywhere near Charles and Camilla or the tea and cake.

I approached some guides at the entrance to the gardens and politely asked whether i could get anywhere near the sculptures that are currently adorning the grounds.

"just go in' they said. "everyone is welcome' .

"but I am  not really wearing the right clothes………"

" oh there's much worse than you in there'………..

Flattery will get you everywhere.

They were incredibly kind and friendly.

So I plucked up the courage to wander into the gardens amongst the local gentry folk in their funeral wear.

I got out my very old phone, and used it as my camera.

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old sculpture and new sculpture

Maro by Christopher le Brun

Chatsworth House

The gardens are not short of sculptures, some more appealing than others.

Most people today were more interested in drinking the champagne and catching a glimpse of royalty.

I overheard that there were 500 bottles of champagne left over.

vistas abound at Chatsworth

I inspected the floral tributes, listened to the band playing 'bare necessities' and other jolly tunes, and then headed home for tea.

floral tribute a la hen

Deborah was the last of the Mitford sisters, and held in very high regard locally.

I felt fortunate to have happened upon the last celebration of her life, which she lived so fully.

BBC report today

Still here after all these years - learning how to see without a camera.

proof of my existence

10 years ago this month I started treatment for breast cancer. It was not fun. I thought I would die.

5 years went by and I felt really, really lucky. I felt as though a coin that had been flipped up in the air , rotating slowly for 5 years had finally come down on my side, as I knew from the outset that I only had a 50% chance of still being well after 5 years.

10 years passed this week, and again I found it really hard to believe.

Oh me of little faith.

I AM a survivor.

It has been photography that has sustained me through those years, as a way to express my gratefulness for being alive and as a way to find inner peace.

As a consequence of small celebrations I have been gifted a new camera; see above.

I have been challenged to create something special with it.

The gauntlet was thrown down thus......

"They say a decent photographer can make something beautiful with any camera, so let's see what you've learnt over the last 10 years"

I have yet to decide how to respond; there are no instructions with the camera, and it has a flash, but I have no idea how many times it will fire. I will take my time.


Here are a couple of my favourite quotes from other photographers that feel appropriate right now.

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“The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera.” - Dorothea Lange

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“A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed.” 

― Ansel Adams

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Here are some fish, from the Mediterranean sea.

I am not sure I'll be able to create anything like this with my little Kodak; this was taken in a harbour in the Med last weekend on a mini break with my other half.



He took my portrait.

 wife with old stones........... 

As you can see, I am fully alive .

And still married to a man who would rather I took more pictures of a conventional nature; in focus and preferably with an old rock or two in the foreground.

We both can dream.

sand in my eyes and wind in my hair - a summer storm rolls in at Camber Sands

dark clouds on the horizon

Last night I was home alone at Camber Sands on the hottest day of the year.

The TV was broken  ( thanks to 4G ) and I was internet free, so after a swim in the sea and a lie on the sand in the sun followed by  a shower and some food, the night was still young.

What to do?

Some grey clouds appeared at my window on what had been a cloudless day.

I decided to investigate with my camera, as the beach at sundown can be beautiful.

In the car park grey clouds appeared overhead and I climbed the dunes to see what was on offer.

From the top the colours were more reminiscent of the Hebrides and little people played on.

I sat down on a clump of marram grass and said hello to the flying ants. They persuaded me that I needed to go lower, down onto the beach.

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Some different clouds started appearing in the sky.

A family played on.

The clouds got bigger and bolder.

storm clouds arriving

I spent ages trying to capture a streak of lightening. I captured just one of the many flashes and streaks that hit the water.

lightening at Camber Sands

        

Suddenly it became clear that the clouds were moving really fast, and the seagulls were screeching as a strong wind came up.

There was a roaring noise and everyone started running towards the dunes.

time to run

As I ran up the dunes I wished that the sand blowing around me was not a problem for my camera, which had to be quickly put away.

I could barely see; there was sand in my ears, eyes and face whipping over the dunes towards the car park, and providing what one man happily advised me was a free exfoliation service. It hurt!

As I reached the top and over to the safety of the car park I saw the black clouds heading over Camber.

Storm clouds over camber Sands

I ran home and waited for the rain………

The moral of this story?

If you don't go out you won't get the pictures!

Thank you 4G.

over and over again............happiness is a walk in the woods

bits 

I can never tire of walking at Hawkwood.

Christmas over.

OH at the football.

Youngest departed with a car full of hammers and drill bits.

At last; a walk in the woods.

Tout seul.

Bliss.

Late afternoon sun and plenty of mud.

pond

young oak

And an experiment in monochrome.

grass

Two hours to do a walk that takes 40 minutes without a camera.


It never fails to restore me to my calmer self.


Happiness is a walk in the woods.

what if money didn't matter...........moments with a marmot

I came across this video today.

It made me stop and think.

I shared it with my youngest. It made him stop and think. 

I asked him what he would do if money didn't matter.

He came up with a lovely concoction of activities involving sporting activities, the sea, mountains, photography and being creative . All of which are eminently achievable, but maybe not as one job, unless he becomes a guide for photographers who want to surf, climb mountains and make beautifully illustrated books.

He asked me what I would do.

That really made me stop and think.

I came up with "wilderness photographer"..................... partly triggered by my revisiting John Muir's quote that says  

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.”

Having hiked the John Muir trail into Yosemite some years ago I remember the joy of waking up in the middle of nowhere in my tent with frost on my flip flops outside the tent and a marmot sitting on the rock outside in the sun.

Such moments are never forgotten. 

Wilderness to me means a place of quiet, far from civilisation and where nature really does give strength to body and soul. I can think of many places still to be explored. To do so with my camera would give more pleasure than anything else I can think of right now.

All I have to do now is to make it happen.............

                             

And in case you are wondering, dog has made a miraculous recovery. And the new vitamin pills, despite being a conventional shape and not bone shaped, have gone down a treat, without me even asking.

the art of living dangerously......... collaborating with a stranger

my life-your life

I have been engaged in a photographic collaboration with a stranger; we have never met, but have seen each other's work on Flickr. I responded to his invitation to take part in an experiment with double exposed film.

I volunteered out of curiosity, and as I have been experimenting with double exposures already, this seemed a natural progression of my experiments.

My other half was not informed. Being naturally suspicious he would immediately have told me to withdraw for fear of invasion of privacy/ putting myself at risk of 'stranger danger' or just because it isn't the sort of thing that his other half should do.

Maybe I would meet this person and fall in love? Or maybe they would draw me into a trap and something bad would ensue. The possibilities for disaster could be endless. So he doesn't know, and I am still alive and other half and I are still together.

Stranger and I agreed to each shoot a roll of film, then post to the other who would re-shoot the entire film before developing.

Having agreed to take part, my own anxieties took hold. What if the images that I had developed were unsuitable? What if it really was a trap? What if the film I received contained 'unsuitable' content? What would the man in Snappy Snaps think? Would the police get involved? I had no control over what was on the roll of film that I received in the post, and that added to the fun. I discussed these anxieties with my second born, who suggested that I pre-empt any unsuitable content by creating my own unsuitable content. Clever, but not something I chose to do. I trusted my instincts and got on with the job.

Wandering around with a  film and my old Fujica I started to think about what I was trying to convey about myself with the images that I took. I made the mistake of shooting the first roll on a Canon EOS. The rewind is electric, and before I knew it the end of the film disappeared into the canister, never to be seen again. So I tried again with my old manual rewind camera, and felt the joy of one of my first manual cameras that I hadn't touched for years. I still have the first roll, undeveloped, and have been considering developing it to see exactly how I had represented my life to a stranger. This might be the most interesting part of the whole experiment.

So what was on my roll of film?

my life-your life 2

I had shown small details from around my home ; not enough to give away my identity, but enough to show a little of my life and immediate enviroment. I showed books, nick knacks, old photos and scenes from the streets around the block. I showed Camber Sands, and the sea (ref. my need to escape suburbia).

Stranger showed me his vegetable plot, his home, bed, shadow, hands. it struck me that there were a lot of similarities in our choice of personal details whilst maintaining anonymity. The shots were not lined up, and the developer had chosen stranger's frames to show as complete images. Mine are therefore cut in half, creating the need to see a strip of images to understand what I had photographed. I am not sure how one gets around the problem of ensuring that both frames are overlaid precisely when the film is removed and reloaded before re-shooting.

my life-your life 3

my life -your life 4

my life-your life 5

What to make of all this?

It was fun; I am still looking forward to seeing the product of the process in reverse, shot in black and white.

There are techincal dificulties to be overcome; much of the roll of film that I received failed to show both parties' images for reasons that are unclear.

Which way should the film be spliced; or should it be viewed as a complete roll, uncut and thereby telling a better story?

The issue of ownership is to be agreed; it seems that we should both own both films, and in due course we hope to scan the negs and share them. What we do with them after that is another question. I am not expecting instant worldwide celebrity as a consequence of this experiment, so the question remains more theoretical than practical.

My thanks to Stranger  for suggesting this.

It has been fun.

 I'll let him decide whether to reveal who he is!

creativity in the kitchen

My project is  about my "ordinary life". The dilemma I wrestle with most  of the day is what should I include?

I could take a photo every five minutes, or perhaps every hour?

I could photograph my porridge on a daily basis to show you how skilled I am at using the microwave, and how much sugar I put on top.

Should I take my camera to work, or when visiting friends?

Can I venture into abstractions of normality? ( more than likely I will whether you think I should or not).

All of these thoughts buzz around throughout the day, along with wondering whether to write in my workbook, take more pictures or read something relevant to my subject area.

Today I decided to tackle FLASH; a skill that has eluded me for the last 40 or more years. I got my camera and a bottle of ketchup out on the kitchen table, and the work began. I didn't get very far, because something totally out of the ordinary happened; a man called Martin arrived to clean my oven.

Nothing ordinary about that; never before have I had a man wearing a head torch delving into my oven, down on his knees while I pretended that I know something about flash photography. Turns out that Matin is a keen photographer; he directed me to You Tube to find out what to do. Sadly, the Nikon flash that I borrowed does not talk to my Canon camera; after an hour of messing around I realised that I had no control whatsoever over exposures. I retreated to my computer. 

Martin transformed my oven, and I produced a rather unusual image of a bottle of ketchup.